The ancient Greeks spoke of it, in mystery schools it is the first decree of any serious spiritual path, numerous authors have taken it up and today the coaches, counselors or self-help gurus whistle it from the rooftops: Know thyself! Know who you are! Or perhaps what you are - and what you are not. Everyone talks about getting to know yourself, going inward - and there are damn good reasons for that (you can find a few of them in my article “20+ reasons why you should work with your consciousness” here [Click]. But honestly - how do you do that? And why do we find something that sounds so simple and obvious so damn difficult?

What does it mean to "know thyself"?

The meaning of “Know thyself” is of course not about any of the roles that you have taken on in this life - or that others expect of you - and with which you can identify sometimes more, sometimes less: the job that you do or the role that you fill as a mother, father, sister, helping friend, critical colleague or good-humored class clown. “Know thyself” means something deeper, an essence of the soul.

Because when we really know ourselves on a deeper level, we are free, because we can no longer be manipulated, we have a clear vision of what we want and where we want to go - so we are told. Personally, I imagine it a bit like when the energy of the soul breaks free and begins to steer your own path: you virtually explode from within 😉. And that certainly brings challenges with it, but also all the good things that most people really want: a path that promises true fulfillment. When people struggle to find this true fulfillment in their lives - and most people I know do, at least at some point in their lives - it has a lot to do with how little they truly know themselves.

Why do we know ourselves so little - and why is that an issue?

And that's no wonder. After all, there is no school subject called “Know thyself”, but there is often a lot of training in how to ultimately fulfill the expectations of others, of family, teachers and bosses to the somewhat abstract “society”, which again has its very own expectations of us - or so we think. But what is really expected of us, and what we believe is expected of us, and of course what we expect of ourselves (!) - we usually can't tell the difference between those questions at that point anyway. But when was the last time you asked yourself what YOU actually need? Hand on heart: do you know your needs? Do you allow yourself to have any?

As a result, most of us are plagued at one point or another in our lives by a lack of direction, difficulties in making decisions, ignorance of our own strengths and weaknesses, feelings of meaninglessness in life, difficulties in our relationships because we have not learned to communicate what we want (we don't even know what we want), a lack of access to our feelings, an inner emptiness, boredom, co-dependencies, addictions, doubts, fears, insecurities, self-esteem problems and much more.

How do you get to know yourself?

Of course, what defines us is something much deeper than our needs. But this is where it starts, and if we can't even say what we need at any given moment - how are we supposed to find out who we are? Of course you can book coaching and self-awareness courses, and also Constellation Work, Hypnosis Work and every form of work with your Consciousness brings you closer to yourself. But so that you don't need to book a 14-day spiritual self-awareness retreat in Bali, I would like to give you three very simple ways today that can help you get closer to yourself and to assist you in filling this somehow elusive rule of “know thyself” with life. And yes, it's actually really simple, you just have to do it!

In fact, our whole life is one big self-awareness trip - at least if we are open to it and consciously realize it - and want to realize it 😉. We've just forgotten to look because we're too distracted and because we've become little fulfillers of expectations. Not that it is fundamentally wrong to do something for others - on the contrary. From the clear knowledge of your strengths and talents - knowing what you have to give - you will automatically do a lot for others. "Know thyself" is certainly not an ego trip. For many, however, it feels like one at first because they are not used to dealing with themselves in such depth - and perhaps also because someone once convinced them that it is selfish not to be a constant "expectation-fulfiller".

My 3 tips for getting to know yourself

So if you are willing to look at it, you will realize that (almost) everything you experience is actually like a mirror that can show you something about yourself. And you can use this to find out who you (really) are and put together the many small pieces of the puzzle that you already have on display in your life every day. You just have to notice them. For example, in this way:

1. The “Find your fire” diary. Ask yourself what lights up your inner fire, your inner light, what inspires you, what brightens up your day, what brings a real smile to your face, not one of those smiles you put on to appease someone else, to cheer them up or to make them feel positive about you. You are looking for that genuine inner smile. What makes you suddenly light up like a little dancing sun? And start observing, throughout the day, in which situations this happens, and why. It can be seemingly small things, the sun on your face, the neighbor's dog, the bee in the garden, but write it down - this will sensitize you to the feeling you are looking for. You are also signaling to your subconscious - or your soul - that you would like to bring these things to your awareness now and get to know yourself. Do this for 30 days as an absolute minimum, so you can start to recognize patterns that you wouldn't have realized before. For me, for example, it's the feeling of freedom - which turns me into a little dancing sun. But I only noticed this because at some point I realized that there was a pattern in the situations that light up my inner fire. These are situations that don't seem to have much in common: whether it's at full gallop on a horse with the wind in my hair, whether it's standing on a cliff overlooking the vast ocean, whether it's the feeling of relief (freedom!) when I've completed a long-term project that has dominated my everyday life for a long time - or whether I've simply watched a movie like Braveheart or The Island, or a musical like Les Misérables, and cried my eyes out at great scenes of liberation. Freedom is part of my soul essence, among other things, and seen through this lens, many of the things I have done, experienced or not done and experienced in my life make a lot more sense to me. And today, my work with my clients is almost always about freedom in one way or another. And a spiritual path has a lot to do with freedom anyway.... Perhaps this makes it a little clearer why such a realization can help you move forward.
2. The diary of needs. Your needs are not necessarily your soul essence or what makes you you, but knowing them is an important prerequisite for embodying your essence. Living your soul essence releases a lot of energy and can be really exhausting. Who can muster this energy when you are hungry, cold or feeling lonely and misunderstood? Your needs are important and want to be met wherever possible - but you need to know what they are. The diary of needs works in a very similar way to the “Find your Fire” diary, only here there is an additional task: set your cell phone alarm clock so that it rings at several predetermined points in the day at a predetermined interval (e.g. every 2 hours from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m.). Every time the alarm clock beeps, stop for a moment, take a deep breath, feel into your body and ask yourself what you need right now. It can be anything from “I'm hungry, thirsty, I need exercise, I need rest, I need someone to talk to, I need closeness, I need fresh air, I need to look at something beautiful right now”. You may not be able to name it clearly at first, especially if you are not used to paying attention to your needs. In this case, simply write down what is present for you at the moment. You can also start with the prevailing (physical) feeling (e.g. “I'm totally exhausted” or “I'm jittery”) and then work your way to the underlying need (e.g. “I need rest” or “exercise in the fresh air”). If you now find yourself with huge question marks over your head because you are not quite sure what counts as a need: here [Click]. you will find a list of possible needs as inspiration. Once you know what your need is at any given moment, you should of course see if and how you can respond to it - is there a way you can fulfill the need right now? Of course, this doesn't always work, but perhaps you can at least make a deal with yourself. Something like: “When I have completed task xy, I will take half an hour for need z.” Just make sure that you don't come up with a thousand excuses as to why you can't at the moment - or never really - fulfill this or that need. These are usually the very traps that have caused us to suppress our needs, and where we now have to put an effort in trying to feel them again. Because just like a small baby that eventually stops crying if no one comes to soothe it, our need signals become quieter and quieter if they are never answered.
3. My 0,-Euro-Mini Course “Find your Soul Wisdom” (in German only at this point). The course can help you take the first step towards getting in touch with your true inner voice. And you need this connection to get to know yourself. The Find your Fire and Needs Diaries help you to ask the right questions. The course helps you to find out how your soul communicates with you individually and sends you the answers to your questions. And if you can bring in your real, true perspective at any time (not the one that is colored by conditioning, learned beliefs or the expectations of others and is no longer your own), then you know who you are. You can find the mini course here [Click]..

If you now feel like embarking on your own personal journey of self-discovery and my tips have been helpful to you, please leave me a comment!